Sensitive Men Really Do Make the Best Romantic Partners — Here’s Why

A sensitive man passionately kissing his female partner

Sensitive men are the ones who actually understand you — and they deliver far more than other men. 

Ladies, what do you look for in a man? Are you looking for a bad boy? A strong and silent type? Maybe a geeky guy? Whatever your tastes, you might want to move sensitive to the top of the list. 

To be clear, as a highly sensitive woman, I’ve always approached this trait from the other side. And I’ll admit, I didn’t always recognize my unique HSP gifts as superpowers. About twenty years ago, when I first learned about highly sensitive people, it was a revelation for me to find out that there were other people like me — let alone accept my sensitivity as “normal.” 

But it wasn’t until I read Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo’s new book, Sensitive, that I began to see sensitive men portrayed in a whole new light. (And, as a transpersonal coach who supports people in finding their power, I was thrilled that Sensitive focused on the strengths and gifts of being sensitive!) The book doesn’t just show sensitive men as being kind, compassionate, and caring (although yes, they have all those traits). Rather, Granneman and Sólo made a case that sensitive men may actually outperform other men at traditionally masculine pursuits — things like sports, outdoorsmanship, law enforcement, and the military. This is because sensitive men’s physical sensitivity and keen awareness of their surroundings give them an edge.

In other words, you can have your rugged cowboy and your sensitive romantic, too.

This makes sense when you understand what makes someone “sensitive.” As a personality trait, being sensitive just means a person is wired to process all information more deeply — including feelings, thoughts, ideas, and physical sensations. Nearly 30 percent of the population scores higher than average for sensitivity, and the trait is equally distributed between all genders. These individuals are known as highly sensitive people, or HSPs.

Although there are many benefits to being sensitive — such as deep thinking, creativity, better decision making, and compassion — it’s undervalued, especially in men. When a girl cries, she may be labeled as a “fragile flower,” but when a boy cries, he may become the victim of bullying, threats, and abuse — even from his own family members. How sad that some of the kindest and gentlest boys on the planet are taught that they must “toughen up” in order to “be a real man.” But guess what? Real men are sensitive and caring. And sensitive men make superb romantic partners! Here are five reasons why.

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5 Reasons Why HSP Men Make the Best Romantic Partners

1. They tune in to you — really tune in to you.

Highly sensitive people are known for their ability to pick up on nuances that ordinary people often overlook. This is a great quality when it comes to a lover. 

For example, an HSP can sense things that other guys would miss completely. He may notice how the color of your shirt complements your skin. Or he will take time to dig deeper when he feels something is bothering you. Sensitive men will tune in to what you are not saying, too, as well as what you are. This comes in handy in the bedroom, where you might be shy about speaking up about what you like or don’t like, sexually speaking

In addition, through your body language, an HSP will dial in to what you are communicating and respond to your subtle movements. While a typical guy might be more focused on his personal satisfaction, a sensitive man will be engaged in the entire process, absorbing your spoken, and unspoken, cues. Sensitive men want to harmonize with their partner and have a natural gift for connection, depth, and appreciating the nuances of intimacy. This means you get a partner with an intuitive gift who is listening for what lights your fire.

2. They take their sweet time — both in and out of the bedroom.

HSP men, by definition, feel more. They feel more physical sensation, as well as stronger emotions. And, because highly sensitive people feel more, we are more likely to notice the beauty of a flower or to cry when looking at a sunset. In addition, we often prefer a slower pace, so we can soak in all the details. Generally, this quality correlates with a desire to savor life and not rush through the good stuff. When you have a highly sensitive lover, he is more likely to savor you the way he would savor the perfect espresso or the delectable taste of dark chocolate — slowly and deliberately. 

While a typical male might be in the category of “wham, bam, thank you, Ma’am,” an HSP is more likely to be in the mindset of “slow and steady wins the race.” This isn’t to say that sensitive men aren’t happy to show up for a “quickie”; it’s just to say that they are invested in the whole process of intimacy rather than a race to the finish line. 

When The Pointer Sisters sang, “I need a man with a slow hand” back in 1981, they were probably looking for a trio of sensitive men to satisfy their desires!

3. They actually care — they are in touch with themselves and genuinely want to be in touch with you, too.

If you’re looking for a healthy relationship, try an HSP! Men who have embraced their sensitive nature, and aren’t trying to hide it with a machismo façade, allow themselves to be themselves. This is amazing. When men are comfortable with their softer side, real emotions come through. When men are in touch with themselves, they genuinely want to be in touch with you. In other words, they care. 

If you are lucky enough to have an HSP man for a lover, he will care about your feelings and want to make you happy. The qualities of feeling deeply and caring passionately are hallmarks of high sensitivity. When this applies to your lover, it means he will feel deeply and care passionately about you. This translates to more meaningful connection in all departments, especially in making you feel loved and desired. 

Need to Calm Your Sensitive Nervous System? 

HSPs often live with high levels of anxiety, sensory overload and stress — and negative emotions can overwhelm us. But what if you could finally feel calm instead?

That’s what you’ll find in this powerful online course by Julie Bjelland, one of the top HSP therapists in the world. You’ll learn to turn off the racing thoughts, end emotional flooding, eliminate sensory overload, and finally make space for your sensitive gifts to shine.

Stop feeling held back and start to feel confident you can handle anything. Check out this “HSP Toolbox” and start making a change today. Click here to learn more.

4. They want to please you, whether it’s in bed or with breakfast in bed.

A highly sensitive man will go to great lengths to bring happiness to his beloved, and there are many ways that a highly sensitive man might show his love for his sweetheart. He may bring you breakfast in bed, be your technology hero, or wake up early with the baby just so you can get more sleep

He’ll also go out of his way to make you laugh; will invest in your dreams and desires; and will value open and honest communication. In essence, he’ll put time and energy into creating a healthy relationship. 

And, naturally, a highly sensitive man will want to sexually please you, too. Let’s just say it out loud: A sensitive guy will take pleasure in your pleasure. When you are loving what he is doing, he will appreciate your sighs, moans, giggles, and responses more than the average bear. And he won’t stop there… He will find all the ways to turn you on and make sure you are fully satisfied, from start to finish. 

5. They will respect you, no matter what.

Respect is key in any thriving relationship, and sensitive men are good at considering their lover’s feelings — both in and out of the bedroom. Highly sensitive men, because they are more tuned in, genuinely care about if, when, and how you want to close. They want to be confident that you are as interested in connecting as they are. When you have a trusting and loving relationship with one of these awesome guys, they may seem to magically know when you’re in the mood. And, fully respect your boundaries when physical closeness is not what you are looking for in that moment. After all, mutual respect and consideration is pretty high for men who have often felt misunderstood or undervalued for their sensitive nature. Because they know what it is like to have their sensitivity and boundaries trampled, they are often very mindful about making sure that intimacy is consensual. 

This is not to say that highly sensitive men are always aware of what’s going on with their partners, but in general, they are more attuned, more connected, and more in touch. These qualities make highly sensitive men wonderful partners and great lovers. After all, sensitivity is sexy.

Helping sensitive people embrace their power and transform their lives is my passion. For personal coaching, workshops, or to attend a soul empowerment retreat, reach out to me at

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