Your HSP best friend will listen to everything you say — but they’re also excellent at reading body language and hearing everything you don’t say.
When it comes to friendships, we highly sensitive people (HSPs) are more about the quality than the quantity. A couple of good friends mean more than a full address book to us. We crave deep friendships, not a large social group to hang with. We don’t need any old social interaction; we need the right kind of social interaction, personalized to us HSPs.
And even though some people may have a hard time understanding our sensitivity — why we may cry at the drop of a hat or tear up when we see something beautiful in nature — our many, many HSP superpowers overshadow everything else. And for the right friend, we give our all. Here’s why you can count yourself lucky if your best friend is a highly sensitive person.
8 Reasons You’ll Be Glad to Have an HSP as Your Best Friend
1. They are mind readers extraordinaire.
HSPs know how you are feeling without you actually telling them. They see that dark cloud above your head or the beaming smile on your face. Think of us as emotional sponges; we soak up the emotions around us, whether we want to or not. And we don’t just see your emotion; we feel it, too. When you’re sad, we want to help. When you’re ecstatic, we want to share in your joy. No matter what, we want to be there for you, plain and simple. Speaking of which…
2. They’ll always provide you with a sympathetic (and empathetic) ear.
HSPs have buckets filled to the brim with empathy and they’re certainly not afraid to use it. We feel all the feels you have, so we know when to offer you a listening sympathetic — and empathetic — ear. Or a non-judgmental shoulder to lean on. Or a platform to rant from. Whichever you need most.
But don’t worry, we can also sense when you really don’t want to talk about it. And we respect that, too. Just know that when you are friends with an HSP, you’ll feel that someone cares. It’s in our nature to want to help you.
3. They’ll give you a carefully-weighed, thorough response.
HSPs like to weigh all the possibilities before responding so they can help you figure out an innovative solution. They reflect deeply on the problem or issue at hand, and their decisions are never taken lightly. They are contemplative and introspective — and they’ll probably think of things that you haven’t picked up on and help you see the whole picture.
As your HSP best friend, we will remind you of the mistakes you have made in the past, too, so you can avoid making the same ones in the future. Actions, possible consequences — we’ve thought it all through.
Intuition plays a big role in our decision-making also — our instincts are usually spot on — so you get to enjoy the benefits of yet another one of our superpowers.
4. They’ll see through your, “I’m okay…”
An HSP can read you like a book. They’re excellent facial-expression-interpreters and can expertly read eyes and body language. They hear everything you don’t say.
While you may be able to appease other friends with the line, “I’m okay,” it won’t work with us. We’ll see right through the dismissive “I’m okay”s.
The plus side of all this is that you don’t have to put on a brave face with us when life is getting you down. You can be yourself. In fact, we insist on it.
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5. They are people-pleasers and all about the details.
Your highly sensitive friend will follow up with you on the things that you have going on in your life: They’ll ask questions about your day; they’ll revisit that topic you two talked about last time you met up; and they’ll notice the nuances in what you say (and don’t).
We’ll also share in your experiences and remind you how important you are, because to us, you really are. We will remember your birthday, the anniversaries and the dates that matter — the positive and the negative. HSPs provide that special touch and remind you that you matter.
We HSPs are people-pleasers who put your happiness above our own (sometimes to a fault). We derive happiness from doing something that moves you, that makes you happy. Like throwing you that surprise birthday party — the joy and surprise on your face makes our week, probably our month. And to boot, we love getting bogged down in the details of planning such a party.
6. They will make you look at the world in a new way and have heartfelt conversations.
If there is something that HSPs don’t like, it’s small talk. Instead, they like to talk about deeper topics and the big topics of the day. They’re all about righting injustice and making the world around them better.
Being friends with a HSP means having meaningful, heartfelt conversations. We’ll get you thinking about the big picture and how you really feel about the world around you. We live for hearing how something makes you feel and what you are passionate about — we are energized when you share your dreams and aspirations with us.
7. They’d love to see you, but they need alone time, too.
Nobody understands more than an HSP when you call us to cancel a plan we’d made — you just can’t go out tonight. Your work day was more hectic than you expected and you can’t bear to go to a busy restaurant. We get you. Totally. And completely. Alone time is one of our things, and we won’t mind if we unexpectedly get more of it. No way will your HSP friend guilt you into going out when you don’t want to (just as we hope you won’t guilt us either when we need time to ourselves).
An experienced HSP guards their boundaries furiously — even though it’s not always easy — and we won’t judge you when you do the same. In fact, if anything, it will probably make us love and respect you more.
8. They’ll be your friend for life.
HSPs often find it hard to relate to people around them since many everyday activities overwhelm them. A busy restaurant, a crowded bar, a loud party — they’re sure to feel drained and would rather be home.
People often see us as “different.” As a result, we are selective with our relationships and those we let in. So if we’re good friends with you, it means we have found common ground, and an HSP doesn’t take that lightly.
So once you’re in with a highly sensitive person, you are in for life. Remember, we’re all about quality over quantity. There’s no reason for an HSP to go friend-hunting once we have found those who “get us.” And if that’s you, then count your blessings — you can truly rely on us. Through thick and thin. Through the highs and lows. The pits and the peaks. As long as the friendship is a two-way street, we’re in it for keeps.
And, as a last word of advice for every HSP out there, learn to be as good a friend to yourself as you are to others: show yourself empathy, love, and compassion, too. Not only will it benefit you, but also those around you.
My fellow highly sensitive souls, is there anything you’d add to this list? I’d love to hear in the comments below!
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